There's where the cotton and the corn and tatoes grow,
There's where the birds warble sweet in the springtime,
There's where this old darkey's heart am long'd to go.
Oh, Northern Virginia (NoVa), despite your gleaming towers of Rosslyn and the metropolitan hipster vibe of Clarendon; regardless of your increasing population density and the steady purpleization of your electorate, you are still the offspring of the inbred, mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, pre-Enlightenment cretins that still dominate RoVa (the Rest of Virginia).
Struggle up through the slime though you try, you will just keep being dragged back down into the primordial muck by the bigots, the racists and the gun nuts. The state is starting to look like a laughingstock with its whacked out retrograde politicians that are just downright embarrassing to anyone with an eighth grade education or better.
The latest affront to common sense and progress springing from the Ancient Dominion is the failure to pass an anti-dooring measure that would have made motorists who unthinkingly fling their car doors open in the path of oncoming cyclists at least partly responsible for the damage and injury they do.
Now it's bad enough that the Virginia Senate didn't pass the bill through the transportation committee, but what is particularly galling is the stated reason: they couldn't get their shit together enough to have all members of the committee actually attend the hearing. Half of the douchebags who allegedly sit on this committee couldn't even be bothered to show up to vote one way or another. So there you go, Virginia. You are one of only ten states in the Union (I realize many of you don't even recognize that you ARE in the Union) to extend exactly zero protection to people who get injured by thoughtless assholes who can't be bothered to look in the rearview mirror before throwing their car doors open into the path of fellow travelers. Well done.
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