On the beaten path

April 5, 2020 Covid-19 statistics

NextDoor.com posting

The NextDoor.com Public Plea to Joggers/Cyclists, asking us to wear masks and keep six feet from the oblivious pedestrians lollygagging along our neighborhood's many "bike paths", has generated 96 comments so far. Now cyclists, typically considered a mere nuisance, are being accused of negligent homicide via inadvertent biological warfare. I can only presume she wrote a similar plea to motorists asking them to wear masks when the windows of their cars are open.

People are scared, but come on. Wear a mask while running or cycling? Only someone who had never done it could even think such a thing.

I understand that non-cyclists resent the spandex crowd, and for good reason. Many cyclists, like many humans of all types, are assholes. They put on their "pro kit" and head out on the multi-use paths intent on winning Strava segments or improving personal records, or whatever race fantasy they have. That's wrong and stupid and they should rightfully be scorned for it.

But while the Cat 6 racers are too often the public face of "cyclists" most of us are just normal people trying to get somewhere or get a little healthy exercise, or both. We aren't trying to scare or hurt anyone, and we don't "come out of nowhere". We were somewhere before, now we are near you, then we go somewhere else. Pedestrians think cyclists "come out of nowhere" because bicycles are quiet and pedestrians aren't paying attention. They have no situational awareness and they don't think they bear any responsibility for their behavior as they are walking or pushing a stroller or letting their fucking dogs piss and shit all over places other than their own goddamn property.

Multi-use paths are part of our transportation infrastructure, just like roads and sidewalks. They are generally about 10 feet wide, expected to support two-way traffic. That's 5 feet on each side for those of you following along - impossible to get the recommended 6 feet away from others without veering into oncoming traffic. So most paths are not a good place for congregating and it's impossible to practice "social distancing" in such a place.

The speed limit on shared use paths in Maryland is 15 MPH unless posted otherwise. In a car that seems painfully slow, but to someone walking two miles per hour, that seems blazing fast. And a 175 pound man moving 15 MPH is indeed a pretty imposing object. But if a cyclist is paying attention, obeying the rules and employing at least of modicum of common courtesy, they are not dangerous. We are not a problem. In most cases the biggest problem on paths is the walkers, futzing with their cell phones, oblivious to their surroundings, meandering all over the very narrow strip of asphalt as though they are the ONLY users. They're not, any more than pedestrians and cyclists are the only users of roads. You have a right to be there, but you realize you're one of many diverse users of the trail and have a responsibility to at least pay attention.

Maryland Share-Use Path design guideline

I'm particularly sensitive about this issue because my home is adjacent to an extremely popular multi-use path. When I bought the house I was thrilled to be by the path - I have immediate access to a major car-free route to the heart of our highly walk-able community. I can stroll or cycle to two grocery stores, the local public library, movie and performing arts theaters and a huge assortment of restaurants, shops and services.

For the most part I still feel very positive about living next to the path. We get to see our neighbors as they go about their lives, trundling back and forth to the store or going out to dinner, having a run, heading out on a bike to the park. It's not exactly Mayberry, but it's common to chat with our fellow citizens which really makes our corner of the block feel a little less anonymous than most places we've lived. People bring their kids here to teach them to ride bikes and roller skates in a safe, car-free block. The path and the slim green space along parts of its periphery tends to invite people to pause to chat and catch up with each other as they go about their lives. It's really nice.

But there are definite annoying aspects to being path adjacent. Most are provided by our so-called neighbors, the kind of self-righteous bastards who would buy a dog, put him on a leash and march him to somebody else's home to urinate and defecate. And among the many users of the path, they are the ones who act the most entitled. It's probably a defense mechanism - they know they are splashing dog piss all over public land or other peoples' homes, and when confronted they often react by adopting an extraordinarily defensive posture. I've had a woman actually tell me, no he's not while a shit log was literally dangling from her dog's ass. I've had a man tell me to fuck off while his dog was digging in my landscaping. I can only presume they have some semblance of a conscience and when their lack of consideration is called out, they respond with the psychological equivalent of fight or flight. Hard to run when your dog is hunched over in mid squat, so telling the person whose home you are treating like a toilet to fuck off is probably your only recourse. Aside from apologizing for acting like an oblivious jerk.

And picking up their little bags of shit is a constant chore. Makes me want to call Wade Blasingame.

How anyone carrying a literal bag of shit can look down their noses at anyone else, much less demand other citizens show them respect, is utterly beyond me. If you don't like cars, get off the road. If you don't like cyclists, get off the bike paths. If you don't like feces in your yard, don't buy a dog. And if these self-righteous path police want me, the guy who picks up their dog shit and repairs the damage to the landscaping done by their pets and undisciplined children, to wear a mask when I'm cycling... well...